Sifted Brain Matter

Sift through the contents of what were once healthy brains.

This site will eventually contain "Tinker's Words of Wisdom" starting from #277, then skipping straight to #312 and going on from there. The reason why there are no numbers before #277 is because they either don't exist or NE record of them disappeared. The gap between #277 and #312 is due to the fact that the original records of them from Mel's digital diary were deleted @ some stage.

Below is the beginnings of a short -I don't know what u'd call them really- story entries section:

A big doodle jobbie ate a moralistic vagina bean 2 annoy the Bulldog Men from outer space. It was funny 'cause the Poor Dudes had tortured soul biscuits in fondue booger topping. The dresses were then ripped off the Chinese Humpies after a meaningful Bogarama. If only we could learn from this & send in an army of Radiant Logging Maltese Turtles with crud pistols. I've always found the Turtles 2 b full of wisdom on matters of consequential grooving. Maybe next-time the Pirhanas will avoid messes of Liver Mop.

Should the Hammer Nut Men from a moon place boot Drool Puppies from the Indian Embassy in a fit of melodramatic slumness? Of course not! They r attracted 2 Hooters calling 4 a postal order of Munchkins with an appetite 4 eyeliner underpants. Maybe some1 could stop them with a stinky rubber dinghy. That would probably cause them 2 explode in2 a variety of Pornographic Monkeys. Damn them! They're always out 2 menace the public with Morons in Tights. I'm not impressed with a fortune based on dawdling. Scrump.

Let's all gather the forces of mortuaries everywhere in order 2 make a stand against Asiatic Bamboo planting in southern scalp regions. If we can't put a stop 2 this atrocious act, then the Belly Dancers may unleash the deadly forces of Liver Spotters. More often than not, they instead attempt 2 foreignise Elephant Currants which r always a bit heavy on the colony of Termites that infest papier mache on weekends. Fortunately, there is 1 thing that torments the Cheeky Acrobats & that is 76 Punky Alf Brewsters.

Don't spray Mortein on bubbles of Short Dwarves. Just don't. If I told u y, u'd fall over a cheeseburger. 2 scary 4 u? Then hide the Mice from the Vampiric Cows 'cause they go nutty like a macadamia. My Old Left Shoe used 2 tell jokes. Seriously! Mind u, it has nothing 2 do with the fact that I was drunk. I think it was more 2 do with My Shoe feeling a little on the funny side. Must've been something 2 do with it being walked on all the time. Funnily enough, I can't remember NE of the jokes it told. Muppets!

We work all day, work all night, 2 set your underpants free. We won't stop 'till we have underpants. Yum Tum-Tummy Tum-Tee! -an excerpt from a South Park episode. Sorry that this isn't mine, but it was too funny and weird to not include it here.

Beef Cheese, Birgle Dags and Birdie Yaks. -don't worry, Chrispy will know what I'm talking about.

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Last updated 01/11/2000